Dorothy's Sweet Revenge
by 7moondance
Summary: Roger and Angel are married. Dorothy adapts with her usual aplomb. This story was originally a one shot but one of my more twisted fellow conspirators, DarkO added his ideas to the plot.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Big O. If I did Season 3 would be over and we'd be half way through Season 4.

Dorothy's Sweet Revenge

The worst had happened! Roger and Angel were married. Dorothy would never forgive the look of triumph Angel flashed to her as she flounced down the aisle with Roger. Somehow Dorothy made it through the wedding and the reception, gracefully saying all the right things thorough gritted teeth. "One must accept what can not be changed," she thought stoically.

Angel was human and Roger thought that she was very beautiful. Although Dorothy thought that Angel looked like a floozy, even she had to admit that Angel was impressively stacked. However Dorothy found comfort in transcendental meditation. She frequently meditated on how far south Angel's stack would transcend over the next few years while her own little B-cups would remain perky for centuries. Phrases like, "How y'all doin', Mr. Belly Button?" and "Buenas dias, kneecaps," would give her the giggles for hours.

She took further comfort in the thought of the cellulite that would one day collect on Angel's firm buttocks and thighs. "Angel likes Hagen Das," Dorothy mused. "I must make sure we never run out. I know she likes chocolates too. Roger wouldn't mind if I set up an account with the local candy store and have them send Angel a five-pound box of chocolates every week," Dorothy thought with a cunning smile. "Angel will think it's a gift from Roger and Roger will be pleased with my thoughtfulness."

"Oh, Roger, you didn't forget our six month anniversary!" Angel cried as he stepped off of the elevator. Roger looked confused until Dorothy winked at him and whispered. "I had the confectioner's shop send her a ten-pound box of chocolates."

"Thanks, Dorothy," Roger whispered back gratefully. "By the way I like your new uniform." Dorothy had convinced Angel that it would be more economical for her to work in something with less fabric than the matronly black dress she used to wear. Dorothy found that she could perform her duties much more efficiently in short shorts and skin-tight low-cut tank tops.

Late that night Dorothy heard angry words coming from the direction of Roger's and Angel's bedroom. A few moments later a door slammed and Angel began to cry. Trying not to feel too pleased, Dorothy went back to her sewing.

The next morning after Roger left to visit a client, Angel entered the living room red-eyed and weepy.

"Angel, is something wrong?" Dorothy asked.

"It's Roger," she sniffled. "He said that I was getting…," another sniffle. "He said that I was getting faaaat." Angel wailed.

"Roger is a louse," said Dorothy vehemently. "Angel, if you were getting fat you would not be able to fit into your clothes."

"You're right," she replied thoughtfully. "In fact my pink body suit is a little loose in the thighs. Dorothy, would you mind taking it in for me?"

"Of course not," Dorothy answered. "Angel, you need something to make you feel better. Come with me."

Leading Angel into the kitchen, Dorothy asked Norman if there was any Hagen Das left.

"Good morning, Mistress Angel," he said with a small bow. "I bought several pints this morning, Dorothy. Oh, I nearly forgot. A messenger arrived earlier with a box of chocolates for Mistress Angel."

"If Roger thought you were getting fat, Angel, he would not have sent you chocolates," Dorothy said placing the ice cream and a spoon in front of Angel.

Angel smiled as she picked up the spoon.

"Excuse me," Dorothy said looking at the kitchen clock. "I must leave now or I will be late for Georgie William's piano lesson." Soon after the wedding, Dorothy began giving piano lessons to a few of the neighborhood children.

"Angel, I'll take in your body suit after I return. Some of your dresses are loose as well. Shall I alter them too?" asked Dorothy.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Dorothy. You're a good friend," Angel mumbled around a mouthful of ice cream.

Politely bidding Angel and Norman good bye, Dorothy left. As she walked toward her pupil's home a grin worthy of R.D. snaked across her lips. The Williams kid was a tone deaf little brat, but his father owned a fabric store and let Dorothy barter piano lessons in exchange for fabric. At the rate Angel was gaining weight Dorothy would need all of the fabric she could get if she was going to continue copying Angel's wardrobe in larger and larger sizes.

"Poor Angel, she's so down in the dumps, maybe I'll buy a cheesecake on the way home." Dorothy's smile grew wider. "That should cheer her up."


	2. Payback Time

PAYBACK TIME

Angel looked intently in the bedroom mirror. What she saw disturbed her.

"Roger was right," she thought. She had put on a lot of weight since they had married. "How could this have happened?"

At that moment, Dorothy appeared at the door with a tray.

"You seemed so sad this morning, Angel," she said. "Perhaps this may help you feel better."

"Thank you, Dorothy," Angel responded taking the tray. She lifted the lid and saw a very large piece of cheese cake. She was about to take a bite when a thought drifted into her mind.

She stepped into the parlor where Dorothy was talking to Roger while she dusted the furniture. As the android bent over her dusting it was clear that she was not wearing undergarments. Roger, being a gentleman, made an effort not to take more than a few furtive glances at Dorothy's pert little accessories but it was obvious that the poor man was fighting a losing battle.

With a sudden flash of insight, Angel realized who was behind her weight problem. It was Dorothy! That sneaky little android pretended to be her friend while plying her with cheese cakes, chocolates and endless pints of Hagen Das.

"You will pay for this you scrawny little android louse." Angel thought angrily. "You may have won the first round but, I'm still one wily coyote."


	3. Acme

ACME

It was a dark and stormy morning. The fog was so thick that only the sharpest eyes could discern a path through the maze of windblown trash to the front door of the Smith Mansion. A pale figure dressed in the uniform of Paradigm's Military Post Office approached the mail slot, reached into a leather pouch and extracted a package that was addressed to Mrs. Angel Rosewater-Smith. The return address bore a single word, "ACME"


	4. Chapter 4

ANGEL'S REVENGE Part One

Angel took out her measuring tape and carefully measured exactly 4 feet and 9 inches from the floor of the terrace. She marked that point with a carpenter's pencil then removed a drill from her Acme tool kit and drilled a peep hole that was exactly one inch in diameter. She carefully adjusted the noose that lay on the floor directly in front of the peep hole and made sure it was securely attached to the catapult that would hurl its unsuspecting victim far out to sea. Finally she placed a neatly lettered sign that read, "See Roger exercise without his shirt." above the peep hole and waited in the shadows for her victim.

"That android louse should be passing by any minute now," she thought gleefully.

Seconds later, Dorothy walked past the site, and spotted the sign. Eagerly she placed her eye to the peep hole and watched a shirtless Roger pump iron until she was dizzy. "Whuf, whuf!" she exclaimed staggering away from Angel's trap.

"What in the...," Angel muttered angrily stepping up to the peep hole. The noose tightened around her ankle, triggering the catapult and flinging the blonde high over the city and into the ocean.

"You haven't heard the last of me yet, you rotten android," fumed Angel as she paddled rapidly toward the shore trying to out swim the shark that followed in her wake.


	5. Angel's RevengePart Deux

ANGEL'S REVENGE - Part Deux

Smiling with satisfaction Angel hung an exit sign over the large black arch she had painted on the wall of Big O's docking area. To all but the most the attentive observer the arch looked just like a real tunnel. She closed the can of Acme Fake Tunnel Paint, dunked the brush into a solution of Acme paint remover then turned to face her companion. 

"Mr. Gabriel," she commanded. "Please repeat the details of Plan B."

"Yes ma'am," the cyborg replied. "First, we lure the android to docking area with false orders to polish Big O. Next, I chase the android to the entrance of the fake tunnel. Then when the android slams into the wall, a door on the other side of the bay will open and a 40 ton safe propelled by a giant spring will crush that dammed puppet flatter than a Brand X pancake."

"Mmmmm pancakes," Angel moaned desperately as her eyes glazed over. She had been starving herself for weeks in a futile attempt to lose those last 10 pounds.

"Madam?" queried Alan Gabriel.

"Ah, yes," she replied snapping back to reality. "I hear her footsteps. Mr. Gabriel, its Showtime."

Dorothy entered the bay carrying a large piece of cloth and several bottles of metal polish. As soon as the door closed behind her, Alan Gabriel jumped out from his hiding place. 

"Here comes the Boogie Man!" he shouted and rushed toward the startled android.

Dorothy dropped the items she had been carrying and ran. Gabriel chased her around the bay until she saw the tunnel. Without hesitation she dashed into the tunnel and escaped.

"What in the…?" Angel cried angrily as she charged towards the tunnel. She stopped, puzzled by the light that seemed to be coming closer and closer. The blonde stood staring into the tunnel until she had been run over by one engine, several boxcars, a dining car and a caboose. That light had been attached to a train! Angrily the blonde jumped up, glared at the wheel marks that crisscrossed her pink suit, ran toward the tunnel and crashed into the wall. A door on the opposite wall opened releasing the 40 ton Acme safe which crushed her against the wall.

"Ooh, that's going to leave a mark," thought Alan Gabriel with a grimace.

Angel reached up, peeled her flattened body off of the wall, walked over to the Acme automatic air pump, put the hose in her mouth and flicked the switch to on. Within seconds she was back to her normal self. "Being an anime heroine does have its compensations," she said smugly. Suddenly the sound of ripping cloth filled the air. The blonde looked down and screamed. The pump had worked too well! Now instead of being only 10 pounds overweight, she was bigger than ever.

"You rotten android!" she howled waving a pudgy fist in the air. "I'll get you yet!"


	6. The Best Revenge

I don't own Big O or anything else associated with it. If I did, Season 6 would be premiering any day now.

**THE BEST REVENGE **

_Living well is the best revenge – Richard Arlen_

Angel Rosewater-Smith was furious. She had spent too much time and too much money on products that failed to rid her of that sour faced android. To make matters worse the dammed gadgets had backfired, causing her grievous bodily harm not to mention a great deal of humiliation. Now she intended to give the president of Acme a piece of her mind. She marched to the door marked President, slammed it open and stormed up to the receptionist's desk.

"I want to see the president of Acme Corporation and I want to see him now!" she demanded.

"But, Madam," stammered the receptionist. "He's in conference right now. Besides," she said recovering her composure, "No one sees the president without an appointment."

Angel was in no mood to wait. She pushed the receptionist aside, strode into the President's office and slammed her fist on the desk.

"I want to talk to you about your lousy products!" she shouted.

Colonel Dan Dastun who had been conferring with the head of Acme Corporation about plans for new police equipment stared at the irate blonde while the president of ACME slowly turned his chair to face her.

Angel's eyes widened. "You?" she gasped in disbelief. "You are the president of Acme Corporation?"

"Angel sweetheart, I'm crushed," a grinning Jason Beck responded impudently. "Don't you think that I'm capable of doing an honest day's work?

Angel smirked. "Do you want me to give you an honest answer?"

"No," laughed Beck. "But you can tell me what I can do for you?"

The blonde's anger rekindled as she remembered her mission. "For starters you could make products that work," she grated.

After many years, Beck had finally matured enough to understand the meaning of the adage "A soft answer turneth away wrath." He had also found that a soft answer was a good way to prevent lawsuits as well. He calmly offered Angel a chair.

"Talk to me," Beck said soothingly, once the plump blonde was seated. "Start from the beginning."

"The whole damned thing began when Roger and I married," Angel said bitterly. "That nasty little android, Dorothy, tricked me. The little sneak pretended to be my friend, and proceeded to stuff me with chocolates and ice cream until I looked like a blimp. Then she altered my clothes and replaced the mirrors in my bathroom with fun house mirrors that so I couldn't tell that I was getting fat!"

That's really rotten," said Beck. "How did you find out what was going on?"

"When I went shopping, dammit!" she growled. "The only clothes that fit me were size 3X. Do you have any idea of how hard it is to find a pink body suit in size 3X?" Angel stopped, and began to breathe heavily. "I wanted revenge I tell you. Revenge! I wanted it so bad that I could taste it, so naturally I turned to Acme products."

"Naturally," agreed Beck. "And then?"

"The first thing I tried was your damned catapult. I followed the instructions to the letter, baited the trap, and that miserable android stepped right into it. Do you know what happened then?" demanded Angel.

"What?" asked Dastun.

"Nothing," the blonde replied angrily. "Then, when I went to see why it didn't work the damned thing flung me into the ocean and a shark chased me all the way back to the shore," she wailed.

"Poor baby," Jason murmured sympathetically not daring to glance at a snickering Dastun. "Then what?"

"Then I tried the Fake Tunnel and 40 Ton Safe Kit. Again, I followed the instructions precisely and when everything was ready I had Alan Gabriel chase Dorothy around the room until she came to the fake tunnel. But instead of crashing into the wall, like she was supposed to, that bony little rat ran into the tunnel and escaped! When I tried to go in after her, I got run over by a train, flattened by a 40 ton safe, and when I pumped my self up with your worthless Acme pump I was fatter than ever! Look at me," she wailed.

Beck and Dastun really looked at Angel for the first time since she stormed into the office. She had always been a beautiful woman but the weight she gained added a quality to her that made men think of carnal pleasures amid satin sheets and downy pillows. Dastun mouth dropped open and what looked suspiciously like drool began to dribble down his chin. Beck's chin remained dry, but his face reddened as he ogled Angel's voluptuous curves.

"Angel, babe, I think that Dorothy did you a favor," panted Beck when he finally regained the ability to speak.

"And how!" Dastun added emphatically.

Angel didn't know what to think. "Are you making fun of me?" she asked angrily.

"Heck no, honey," said Beck struggling to keep his eyes in their sockets and his hands where they belonged.

"I don't believe you," she said. "Every the fashion magazine I've ever read and every fashion designer I've ever heard says that fat is ugly."

"That's a lot of bull," said Beck emphatically. "Tell me, Angel, who do ya' think writes all that crap about fashion?" he asked.

Angel thought a moment but before she could say anything, Beck continued. "I'll tell you who, straight women and gay men. And I ask you, to whom are straight women and gay men attracted?" Again he answered before Angel could speak, "Men, that's who!"

Angel looked as Beck as if he had lost his mind. "Why should I believe you?" she asked.

Instead of arguing further, Beck spoke into his intercom.

"Miss Wilson, please call the Acme fashion department and send Andrea, Mitzak and Christian Le Qua to my office."

Immediately two very fashionably dressed men swished into Beck's office

Where's Andrea?" Beck asked.

"She needed to make a stop in the ladies room," Mitzak said with a slightly catty edge to his voice. "I think someone had one too many lettuce leaves for lunch."

"Mitzak, I despise gossips, and Mr. Beck, my name is pronounced Ah-handria." The thinnest woman Angel had ever seen swept into the room. She looked at Angel then shuddered and turned away. Angel wasn't sure if she should laugh or slap 'Ah-handria' in the face. She compromised and gave the designer a gracious smile.

"Angel Rosewater Smith, may I introduce 'um Ah-handrea, Mitzak and Mr. Le Qua," Beck said with admirable calm. "Ahandrea, gentlemen," he continued. "Please be seated." The two men sat down but Ahandria remained on her feet.

"I will stand," she stated dramatically. "Since I had my buttocks surgically removed I am no longer able to sit." Angel and Dastun stared at her in amazement. "It is rather hard on the feet," the designer admitted. "But I look divine in jeans."

Beck smiled politely, his face registering nothing of what he was thinking. "

Turning his attention back to the task at hand he ordered the trio to describe the ideal woman.

"Hmm, the ideal woman," said Mitzak. "Well to start with she should have broad shoulders, and a flat stomach",

"She should also have thin thighs, no hips and a flat butt," continued Ah-handria.

"And she shouldn't be too big in the chest," added Le Qua.

"Tell me," asked Beck. "What do you think of R. Dorothy Wayneright?"

"That little android? Oh what a cutie!" said Mitzak.

"I love her skinny little arms and legs. They are sooo adorable!" added Ah-handria.

"I could just eat her up," cooed Le Qua. "If only her boobies were smaller," he sighed. "She'd be perfect."

Angel gaped unbelievingly at the designers.

"Thank you," said Beck.

"Anytime Mr. Beck," Mitzak said blowing Jason a kiss as the trio left the office.

"I don't believe them," gasped Angel wide-eyed with disbelief. "Did Ah handria really have her buttocks surgically removed?"

"That's what she said, Babe," replied Beck. Dastun merely shook his head.

Angel's eyes narrowed. "How do I know that you aren't just trying to set me up?" she asked.

"Still not convinced?" asked Beck. He spoke into his intercom. "Miss Wilson, please bring the anatomically correct Barbie and Ken dolls into my office."

Immediately Miss Wilson entered Beck's office carrying two dolls and a bag of doll clothes. At Beck's command she handed the dolls to Angel.

"Beck, I thought you had given up playing with Barbie dolls," Angel joked.

"Take a good look at the dolls," said Beck ignoring her jibe.

"I recognize Ken," said Angel after looking at both dolls. "But that doesn't look anything like Barbie."

"That's because she's the anatomically correct Barbie," said Miss Wilson. "Unlike the other Barbie, this doll has a reasonably sized bosom, rounded stomach, big hips, big thighs and big buttocks just like a real woman."

Both dolls were dressed in identical designer gowns. Beck spoke up. "Angel, tell me which doll looks better?" Angel gasped as she realized that the gown that looked great on Ken made the anatomically correct Barbie look dumpy.

"That's just a coincidence," she insisted.

Miss Wilson took two identical designer dresses from the bag and put them on the dolls.

Angel had to be honest. Despite Ken's muscle bound, hairy legs the designer dress looked much better on him than it did on Barbie. "Hmm," said Angel thoughtfully but she still wasn't convinced.

"Still don't believe me?" asked Beck. Dastun and Beck looked at each other. "It's time to bring out the big guns," said Dastun.

"Miss Wilson, please send for Dr. Ruth," Beck ordered.

"She's on her way sir," the secretary replied. A moment later the door opened and a short, cheerful, somewhat elderly woman walked into the room. "Hello," she said with a warm smile, "I'm Dr. Ruth." She looked around the room "So?" she asked with a slight accent. "Which one of you iss having a zexual problem?"

"Not me!" the two men said quickly.

Beck cut in, "Mrs. Smith here is having a little trouble accepting the fact that she is just as sexy in a size 18, as she was in a size eight. "

"Oy bubelah," said Dr. Ruth. "Zexiness has nothing to do with dress size. It's all up here," she said tapping Angel on the temple. "Look at the vay those two boys are looking at you."

"But my husband, Roger says that I'm too fat," Angel cried.

"Oh, Roger Smith," Dr. Ruth dismissed him with a limp-wristed wave of her hand.

"What do you mean?" cried Angel.

"Hum," said Dastun haltingly. "Roger's a great guy and he was a terrific officer but 'uh, you gotta admit that he is kinda 'um pretty, for a guy I mean, and well he does spend an awful lot of time working out at the Paradigm YMCA. Then there's his obsession with black."

What Dan is trying to say," interjected Beck. "Is that Crow Boy floats above his loafers. I mean if he's sexually attracted to Dorothy, well then…"

"You mean that Roger is…?" said Angel, shocked

"Now you get it," smiled Dr. Ruth. "Your Roger iss a very happy young man."

Angel looked thoughtful for a moment then her eyes opened wide as the pieces fell into place. "Oh my goodness!" she gasped.

"Ah, my work here iss done," said Dr Ruth cheerfully as she bustled out of the office. "Good-bye everybody und good zex."

"Bye, Dr Ruth," the three chorused in unison.

"Could it be possible that they're right?" Angel wondered staring into space. She continued to mull over what she had just seen and heard until she noticed Dastun and Beck arguing in the corner.

"I saw her first damn it," Beck growled.

"So what?" replied Dastun. "I can have you arrested."

"On what grounds?" sneered Beck.

"For horning in on Angel, that's what for," retorted the Colonel.

Angel walked over to the men and eyed them appraisingly. "Gentlemen, please." she said in a sultry voice. "You don't need to fight over me, there's plenty to go around.

"Hmmm Jason honey," she said throatily, running her hand up and down his arm. "You've been working out."

"Yeah" Dastun commented dryly. "Our prisons have great gyms."

Beck flushed. "And excellent business programs too," he said pointing to the factory complex that lay outside of his office.

Angel turned to Dastun, "My, my Colonel Dastun, what big muscles you have," she murmured stroking his shoulders and pressing ever so slightly against him. "Hmm, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" Dastun's jaw dropped and he began to jabber uncontrollably.

After giving both men a peck on the cheek, Angel walked toward the door. "Why don't you big boys come up and see me some time?" she said pausing in the doorway and looking seductively over her shoulder.

"Hey Angel, wait," said Beck. "I keep this in my closet for just for emergencies," he said pulling out an ermine coat and draping it over her shoulders. "We don't want you to get cold on the way home."

Sensuously she ran her fingers though the fur. "Hmm just like a good Boy Scout, always prepared. Thanks, Big Boy," she purred and with hips swaying like a metronome walked out of the door leaving Beck and Dastun gawking and babbling.

"Goodness, what a beautiful coat!" Miss Wilson remarked as Angel passed her desk.

"Goodness had nothing to do with it," the voluptuous blonde replied with a sly smile.

As she walked home, Angel became aware of the appreciative looks and comments that followed her.

"So many men, so little time," she sighed.

As the elevator took her toward the penthouse she thought about her relationship with Roger, by the time it stopped she had made her decision. "That scrawny little robot can have Roger," she mused dropping her mink over Norman's outstretched arm. She, Angel Rosewater, would have every other man in Paradigm City eating out of her hand by the end of the week.

Sauntering triumphantly into the parlor she turned to the android.

"Dorothy," she purred. "Peel me a grape."

_Author's note: I'd love to be able to take credit for Angel's lines in the last part of this story but they were written by actress, playwright and motion picture icon, Mae West. _


End file.
